Wow! I am speechless. I felt like you suffered for all girls in the world. So, thank you for sharing with us... I am sending you many hugs and all love that you need ❤️
O am sorry for what you went through and happy you found your path. I am 55 and my life was very similar to yours although my parents did not give us up, my mother's evil narcissistic personality made her very good at hiding the physical and mental abuse and making others believe we were naughty and I was, as she use to say, the child of the devil, evil but I was actually just neurodiverse ADHD off the scale. I was abused by a piece detective, a member of our church, grooming my parents to get to me as he could see the vulnerability in me. I joint the forces, military, police the lot to make a change and get those who take advantage of others but realised there were more evil in the forces that outside so I left. Been drifting from country to country, not in a good way, job to job, mariage to mariage. Things made it worse when my son was born, the hatred to towards my parents became stronger and I wrote them off as i could not believe someone could do that to their own children, holding that beuatiful little person in my hands, the best thing ever to happen to me, the only time I felt unconditional love but 4 years later his mother left as it turns out she was a copy of my mother, not physical but very manipulative and very narcissistic and tried everything in her power to break me and my sons relationship. Me and my sons have e a fantastic relationship but still something missing and my heart still pains for the lost of the something as the manipulation from his mother is still there. I stayed consistent, never spoke ill of her to him or around him, always made sure he respected her and love her and he does know what she is like. I went for therapy to therapy, councillors to councillors, hypnotherapy, medication, books, psychology courses, eventually started microdosing that made a big difference but I have not found my path again. At 55 sometimes out the blue the tears still roll, when I see parents with there children it rolls, when I see people being abused, even in a movie or the way the powerful and politicians take advantage and abuse the tears come all behind close doors and in silence, this is a man in my culture that is suppose to be strong, suppose to be alpha, suppose to be tough, I did all those, the forces, the brutal rugby sport but I could not be that and dont want to be that but myself is still telling myself it's my fault, I'm the failure, the worthless one, the problem. Finally at 55 the "normal" chucked me out one final time and I do not have the energy or the mental capacity to walk the same path, to fake just to fit in and look "normal". Time for real change and I'm planning the journey to the freedom from those shackles, a new journey that I call 'The Road to Nowhere Slowly'. Thanknyou for sharing, I now know I'm not the only one and wish you more than happiness.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you had to endure that abuse and pain. Healing is a life journey with many twists and turns. Give yourself grace and loving kindness.
This was extremely powerful and visceral to read. Thank you for your vulnerability; you really do have a natural way of putting everything together. Gratitude really is like magic, and you've alchemized it beautifully.
This is incredibly powerful. Thank you for naming these patterns so clearly. It's giving so many people language for something they've felt in their bodies for years.
Your story echoes mine in many respects. Like you, I am grateful for the abuse and neglect. I agreed to incarnate here this time, and my soul knew I was capable of withstanding everything I went through. I did not so much rise above it as I integrated it. Yes, I am a warrior/survivor. But my heart and spirit (and my healed nervous system) allow me to also be soft enough to receive all the blessings The Universe bestows upon me.
thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story and all the wisdom and strength. so inspiring!
You’re welcome. I’m happy to hear it touched you 💗
You overcame so much and you are writing your own story. Loved it.
Thank you for reading. I am glad you enjoyed this one. It was definitely a vulnerable share but needed to be written about,
Yes, you took the leap of faith. You are one brave woman.
Thank you dear one 🙏🏻 I appreciate you.
Hi!! I wanted to say I thought of you the other day!
xoxo Much Love!!
💛💛💛
Well thank you 🙏🏻 right back at you 💜
Wow! I am speechless. I felt like you suffered for all girls in the world. So, thank you for sharing with us... I am sending you many hugs and all love that you need ❤️
Thank you for your love and support 🙏🏻
beautiful share Nikki! So powerful!
Thank you Carolina 🙏🏻💗
O am sorry for what you went through and happy you found your path. I am 55 and my life was very similar to yours although my parents did not give us up, my mother's evil narcissistic personality made her very good at hiding the physical and mental abuse and making others believe we were naughty and I was, as she use to say, the child of the devil, evil but I was actually just neurodiverse ADHD off the scale. I was abused by a piece detective, a member of our church, grooming my parents to get to me as he could see the vulnerability in me. I joint the forces, military, police the lot to make a change and get those who take advantage of others but realised there were more evil in the forces that outside so I left. Been drifting from country to country, not in a good way, job to job, mariage to mariage. Things made it worse when my son was born, the hatred to towards my parents became stronger and I wrote them off as i could not believe someone could do that to their own children, holding that beuatiful little person in my hands, the best thing ever to happen to me, the only time I felt unconditional love but 4 years later his mother left as it turns out she was a copy of my mother, not physical but very manipulative and very narcissistic and tried everything in her power to break me and my sons relationship. Me and my sons have e a fantastic relationship but still something missing and my heart still pains for the lost of the something as the manipulation from his mother is still there. I stayed consistent, never spoke ill of her to him or around him, always made sure he respected her and love her and he does know what she is like. I went for therapy to therapy, councillors to councillors, hypnotherapy, medication, books, psychology courses, eventually started microdosing that made a big difference but I have not found my path again. At 55 sometimes out the blue the tears still roll, when I see parents with there children it rolls, when I see people being abused, even in a movie or the way the powerful and politicians take advantage and abuse the tears come all behind close doors and in silence, this is a man in my culture that is suppose to be strong, suppose to be alpha, suppose to be tough, I did all those, the forces, the brutal rugby sport but I could not be that and dont want to be that but myself is still telling myself it's my fault, I'm the failure, the worthless one, the problem. Finally at 55 the "normal" chucked me out one final time and I do not have the energy or the mental capacity to walk the same path, to fake just to fit in and look "normal". Time for real change and I'm planning the journey to the freedom from those shackles, a new journey that I call 'The Road to Nowhere Slowly'. Thanknyou for sharing, I now know I'm not the only one and wish you more than happiness.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you had to endure that abuse and pain. Healing is a life journey with many twists and turns. Give yourself grace and loving kindness.
Thanks for the profoundly deep share in our public square. Your path is definitely inspiring.
Your welcome. Thanks for being here and reading along.
Powerful piece! I salute you for your bravery, honesty and clarity. Much to learn from your experience and beautiful conclusions.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Definitely a vulnerable share. The abandonment response made so much sense. Really helpful article.
You are the truest form of inspiration. What a powerful story. I’m glad you shared this and I’m so very sorry for what you endured. 🩷
This was extremely powerful and visceral to read. Thank you for your vulnerability; you really do have a natural way of putting everything together. Gratitude really is like magic, and you've alchemized it beautifully.
This is incredibly powerful. Thank you for naming these patterns so clearly. It's giving so many people language for something they've felt in their bodies for years.
Your story echoes mine in many respects. Like you, I am grateful for the abuse and neglect. I agreed to incarnate here this time, and my soul knew I was capable of withstanding everything I went through. I did not so much rise above it as I integrated it. Yes, I am a warrior/survivor. But my heart and spirit (and my healed nervous system) allow me to also be soft enough to receive all the blessings The Universe bestows upon me.